Monday, December 7, 2009

Please Sir, Can I Have Some More Whatever The Hell This Is?

Today is a really really special day. As we have neglected our duty of backyard voyeurism the last few weeks, the gods have rained down a fury of backyard activity ten fold. We witnessed something this morning that is an example of how loose things have become now that no one is actually trying to make money from art. The lines are blurred, the barriers pushed aside, and frankly no one has a clue what's going on. Here we have a a full view of today's event, which incorporated a blaring Ramonesesque song starting and stopping, a gaggle of young kids (some having a picnic and some just standing around), a team of furred hipster professionals taking video and photos of the whole scenario, an old lady in a skimpy sundress, and an obese man in 1830's attire, who was surprisingly limber and unfortunately managed to avoid all photographs. We'll break this down in order to attempt further understanding, although we ourselves have not drawn a real conclusion.

Suri Cruise as Olivette in My Hipster Backyard's production of Oliver 2: Oliver's Twist

Eight graders hired to consume milk and cookies while being directed by well-known Williamsburg director "mike." Their parents must be very proud working full time and getting schooled.

"mike" telling his furred wench to capture the eighth grader's best angle!

Upset by the image, "mike" exclaims...

"No! No, this is all wrong!"

"mike" storms out, fed up with these amateurs

"mike" cools down and directs the on-set cook to gather his best meats and Ray-Bans for they shall feast! This guy's barbecuing at 11am in a T shirt in like 20 degree weather.

A good time was had by all, even by the wool anaconda around this man's neck.

So maybe you have a better idea than us. What the fuck is going on?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Recession Specialists

Today is a special day. Shit's Shitty.
Thanks to the tumultuous state of our fair local economy, we've all to some degree experienced the regalia brought on by these hard times. Free parties, free shows, free food, and a seemingly endless shower from Brooklyn's own fountain of youth: pabst blue ribbon & colt 45.

Ahhh Brooklyn, where the irony flows like ...well pabst blue ribbon & colt 45.

Trust fund idiots in clown clothes work the Bedford Strip offering hugs to passersby for a small donation.

An anonymous subway performer "working" for tips dressed as a dolphin prances like Gollum w/ 'his precious' in hand.

Aaaand rotary phone wielding boutique shop employees offer up cheap dental work along side the new and ...improved... spelling of "curtious".

Well folks, any suspicions of an inferred 'line you just don't cross' just left the borough.
Next up, beer & a seemingly professional abortion at Alligator Lounge.

CMJ, officially the busiest waste of time

Today is a special day. They stand outside my bedroom window, taking pictures of their photographer while he captures supersaturated stupidity with every flash. They are completely unaware of the current judgement being dished upon them from above. The idiotic idiots, grinning through lip rings and squinting through the overgrowth of Braveheart haircuts. It's mid CMJ and the crew has made quite a journey in their police auctioned school bus they call home to experience ultimate luxury in the majesty of our backyard. After several costume changes and makeup applications they are told to act brutish and slightly violent with each other on the pavement. This is where the magic will happen. They grow tired from about an hour of fake aggression on the dirty ground and break for pizza and Brita-filtered water. Their show in the back of a cafe will be great tonight. I will probably be there.

Friday, October 16, 2009

It's Always Furry In Aspen, Brooklyn

Today is a special today. The leaves are falling from nonexistent Brooklyn trees and the temperature has dropped to a frigid 60 degrees Fahrenheit. It's finally time to resurrect one's most prized costume from the wardrobe; the hunter's tuxedo, the only logical attire for the mid afternoon art space cigarette break. They've been working hard on concepts and installations all the art-long day and now it's time to get rustic in the lavish, overgrown concrete prison of a backyard. After working up a painter's sweat, there's no better way to get totally cool than eskimo-ing oneself by the L train. I wish we had the audio of their conservation, I would bet my best mink they never once mentioned the outrageous coincidence that they are both dressed head to toe in animal fur(s).

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Every Dog Will Have Its Birthday

Today is a special day. Not only is it the kickoff for lookatmyhipsterbackyard but also coincides with a birthday party thrown in our backyard. At first glance it seems like a gaggle of about eight girls and one awkward dude celebrating a friend's birthday. After deeper observation, it becomes evident that the party is not for a human birthday but for that of a canine. It is well attended by peers of the same species, there are many balloons, a DJ, and chaperones. Not to mention, the spread looks beautiful. The weather might be getting colder, but this party's just heating up.